ifyoucarryonthisway: do you ever rub your eye and then suddenly remember youre wearing makeup and in that second you feel your whole life come crashing down around you its all over
How to be confident:
Step 1: Realize you are a sexy beast and own it.
Step 2: Punch any bitch in the face that tells you differently.
groovymuttations: iF “I’LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU” DOESN’T MAKE YOU WANT TO RUN OUTSIDE AND CLIMB A TEN FOOT POLE TO RETRIEVE AN ARROW DON’T TALK TO ME
princessclouddyl: crewnex: obama means family obama means nobody gets left behind
w-a-l-c-o-t-t: burrenbari: ium: allavengedromance: prenuptial: Just watch this please #a parents view of the internet i spat my yogurt gonna play this on my yard for Halloween no please stop help me hELP
-moonshine-: sometimes i mean to type “my” but i accidentally type “me” and then i become a pirate
cancel my subscription, because I am DONE with your issues #i’ll try to say this with a straight face
assiest: there should be a gps system that says ‘WHOOP THERE IT IS!’ everytime you arrive at your destination
penguinhumor: eramquodes: OH MY GOD GUYS I WAS JUST THINKING AND YOU KNOW HOW YOU GET GRASS STAINS ON YOUR KNEES AND IT’S JUST GREEN OOZE FROM ROLLING ON GRASS WELL ISN’T THAT LIKE PLANT BLOOD ARE WE JUST ROLLING AROUND IN THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT ARE THEY SCREAMING AS WE BRUSH THEIR CRUSHED BRETHREN FROM OUR ASSES OH MY GOD VEGANS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
That moment when you haven't seen your bestfriend...
sodamnrelatable: via sodamnrelatable
janksy: y’know what i hate when girls are afraid of lesbians and guys are afraid of gay men just because they’re afraid of them “hitting on them” or s/t like wow don’t flatter yourself no sensible queer person is going to be attracted to you when you’re such an asshole