xlosthope: grimesz: xxxxanaxxxx: tomahok: this might be the best video on the internet oh my god dat muthafucka is a demon was the best part LOL omg. that was amazing xDD
thewinchesterswagger: ih0peyourwifidies: omg my mom just came into my room and told me that I’m spending too much time on the internet so she told me “I’m sorry I have to do this but its for your own good…” and then she proceeded to delete the internet explorer icon from my desktop I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna pee myself omfg
when the character in the book you are reading does something really embarrassing and you suffer secondhand embarrassment and you just have to stare at the ceiling and whisper you are an idiot why would you do that oh my god
Me: Hey I just met you-
Stranger: *Walks away*
Me: NOW YOU'RE JUST SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW
dalailamaofficial: have you ever thought about the fact that like 6 people died because romeo couldn’t control his dick
The best asks, ever.
1: What eye color do you find sexiest?
2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?
3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?
4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?
5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)
6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?
7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?
8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?
9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?
10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?
11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?
12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?
13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?
14: What's your most favorite part of your body?
15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?
16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?
17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?
18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?
19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?
20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?
21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)
22: Which continents have you been on?
23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?
24: Backpacks or satchels?
25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?
26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?
28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?
29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
30: The latest you've ever slept?
31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?
32: Do you pick at scabs?
33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?
34: How far can you throw a baseball?
35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?
36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?
37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?
38: A relationship with love or one with sex?
39: Do you eat enough vegetables?
40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?
41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?
42: Do you swear in front of your parents?
43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?
44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?
46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.
47: City or nature person?
48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)
49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?
50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!
orcasex: what if Earth was like “i’m done” and flew into the sun
lordmcenglish: my dad asked if he could check something on my computer and i said ‘if u can dig it’ he didnt know what i meant until he opened it up and saw he didnt even bother looking up what he was going to he just said ‘no’ softly and walked away and now i dont even think hes in the house anymore
mom: did you get home safe?
me: no i died a few times